After Believing…

After believing what is there to do? Do you believe, without working towards your goal? Do you wait for divine intervention? Or once you believe is it then time to work towards your goal for the outcome in which you are believing in? In my opinion, your next decision after believing will determine your peace along the journey.      

Four years ago, my life shifted in ways I could never imagine. I loss the greatest blessing given to women, my first unborn child. We delivered her sleeping into the arms of the Lord. The pain of the day and life after is still a journey that I travel; but I remember, All Days are Good Some are Just Better. I wish I could say the pain is not as fresh but there are days where it is just gut-wrenching. 

I was determined to no longer in pain. I could live with the pain, but I could no longer live in the pain. Trust me there is a mountain of difference in living with and living in. The loss of a child will be a part of my existence until my end and how I chose to live with that truth determined the peace I was allowing myself to feel. So, the time to live with my truth had emerged and I was up for the ride. 

It was time to believe what was told to me many years ago. I knew at the start of the year my belief/faith would excel us through the year and manifest a true gift. We could not have known we were going to be carriers of a miracle. Our journey in 2019 is book worthy so I cannot spoil all the details. The conception of our daughter happened the same month we loss her sister 3 years prior. I carried this baby with both the fear of the past and hope for the future. We sought the aid needed to achieve the goal of pregnancy. The journey did not end there, but that is a tale for another time. We gave birth to a beautiful little girl, she turned one this month. She is the light of our life and every tear shed, every heartache, every trip to the doctor was more than worth it to look upon the smile on her face. 

My belief in God’s grace for our union produced the directions we needed to take. We went to the fertility clinic, I took the monthly injections, I was seen by a high-risk doctor and my OBGYN, I was put on bed rest, my husband became the sole provider, and our previous way of living was all a dream. I recall one Sunday roughly a week before we confirmed we were pregnant. A really good friend, I do not use that word lightly (friend), prayed over us so fiercely. He touched my stomach to pray over my womb, we joined hands and prayed together, we believed in God’s grace and gave God all the glory and honor for what we knew he was and could do for us. 

I believed in the promise God gave me. I walked in the promise God gave me. I knew that I had to do the work and despite what was going on around me or how difficult the path was at times I pushed forward because I believed. I believed and still believe God. I trusted the road that was in front of me. I did not do it alone; God never left me, my husband stayed by my side, and family and friends lifted me. After believing, trust the process, accept the journey may be difficult, and let others join you along the way. 

2019 was my year of belief. 2020 is the manifestation of that belief, even during a Global Pandemic. Every day has been a reminder that God loves me and wants the best for me. I still Believe and I am ready for my next journey. 

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